The secret ingredient of success - YOU!

So often we spend our lives trying to fit in and conform to what people say they want from us. Most of the time, when we give people what they say they want, they still aren't happy. Why? Because what they really want is us, not some version of ourselves, modified to try and please them. We want genuine connections, ones that are freely given and offer us space to truly be ourselves as well. 

I use the analogy of an orchestra on stage. All of the instruments show up, sometimes some are louder than others, but they are all there at all times. When you show up as your complete self, that is what it is like. Sometimes your intellect shines, sometimes your physical playfulness and sometimes all of the above. 

Rejection

We hide ourselves and limit what we offer to the world because we are afraid to be rejected. We are afraid that if we are vulnerable enough to show our true selves and you disregard it, it will hurt too much. 

But the truth is, rejection is a gift. The people who can not handle us in our true, authentic form, are not meant to be in our lives. They don't resonate with our energy and therefore can not be cooperation with us and what we are creating. If you artificially sustain relationships, you quickly loose the cooperative energies from the universe and begin to have to work harder and harder for what you want. 

Why do we force this so much? Most of it is just training from childhood. "You are better off being liked." "You will be more successful if you are liked."

Sacrificing who you are in order to be something good to everyone doesn't work. This is especially true in our professional lives. No matter what you do as a profession, if you aren't you, you are depriving the world of your gifts. Your gifts are here, right now, on purpose. You are here to be YOU and that is it. Until you do that there is no road to meet you on your path to success. 

Who am I?

All well and good you say, but what if you don't know who you are? Get out there and find the things you most enjoy doing. The things that make your heart sing and you know make the world a better place and start doing that more.  Start planting those seeds in your life and see what opportunities start to show in answer to that energy. 

Yes, going to school, training yourself, learning how to do things can help you find what your passions are. It can expose you to new ideas, new ways of being and help you build confidence. 

But it doesn't stop there. You authentic twist on the topic is what makes it your gift. If all you are doing is waiting to have enough education, then you are not going to have anything new to bring to the table.

Think about it. Doctors all go to school and get taught roughly the same thing. That does not make all doctors equal. The ones who add their personal touch to their business are the ones that people trust. 

This goes for anything. Our personal touches is what makes our service to the world unique. If you can't authentically add you personal touch to what you do, perhaps you should look for a place in life where you can add your personal touch. Even if you don't know what that is yet.

Conforming

Consider this, often times we feel most comfortable around people who express the ideas and truths that look and feel the same as we do. We get comfortable with conformity. But is that really what we want? If the answer was yes, we would watch the same shows, wear the same clothes, eat the same foods generation after generation.  The truth is, we are comfortable with the same, but really crave the growth opportunity in differences. 

Where are you conforming? What are you putting out there to other people? Is it you, or a version of you that you think people want to see? How do you know they wouldn't like the real you better? 

Pick one thing you know you are holding your authenticity back from. Look at it clearly and see if you can bring more of yourself into that activity. Pay close attention to what comes up when you try and do this. Sometimes it takes practice. It takes time to see that people won't react as harshly as you thought they would. No one is as hard on you as you are.

You as your secret ingredient

Drop into your heart first thing in the morning and ask yourself "at the end of the day, what do I want the people who have come in contact with me to feel like?" Then make it your mission to make it happen. It may be something different every day and depend on your plans. That is okay. Give it a try. 

Once you start adding your personal secret ingredient, things will flow easier. You will be more successful with it. You will even enjoy it more!  Give it a try. Tell me how it goes.